My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, “Colonel Sanders”.

Guess where I am now…???

Adding an image is as easy as drag and drop.  And no, this is not me in this picture.

Freshly showered I grab my pajamas and throw them in the washer with a cup of soap, turn on the machine, close the lid and walk away to put shoes on.  Lifting up the pads and books on my desk, looking under the desk, then checking my bedroom closely, before heading back to my desk to look there one more time, my cellphone was not to be found.  Then I realized it was in the pocket of those ‘jammies in the washer.

Flying faster than eight tiny reindeer to hit the pause button and push open the washer door, I found everything fully submerged, and the pocketed ‘jammie bottoms nowhere to be found in the pile of sopping wet clothes leaving a rain puddle around my socks.  Aha!  The ‘jammie bottoms, at the very bottom of the soapy tub of water tightly wrapped around the agitator (yes, this was agitating) with cellphone securely tucked away in the long, now twisted and wet, left side pocket.

Once flipped-up the LCD display looked like a child’s bath toy, the plastic kind with the little fish that floats inside.  Only, there was no fish, no light, nothing.

Grabbing a few dish towels and removing the battery, I began banging the phone hard, on every side, against the towel padded kitchen counter, consoling myself by remembering that, “I hate this phone.”

Couldn’t get all the water out of the LCD display area by banging, so the phone is now sailing around like a Frisbee on a tether hanging from the front of a fan on top of a stool set in front of a wall furnace that is just now causing the control to report 90 degrees.

If the water didn’t drown it, and the heat doesn’t melt it, I’m pretty sure I beat the dang thing to death.

Signed: My anonymous friend, CC

I hope the phone managed to survive.